saving baby girl

He's behind bars...

2010-01-27T20:19:00.000-05:00

I'm pleased to be able to say that the pedophile is finally behind bars. He was sentenced on January 11 and spent a week or so in the county jail and then he was moved into state prison. He is actually at a receiving facility right now.

I spoke with the prosecutor via phone the day after the sentencing hearing to verify that he was in prison. I sent his office a letter that I wanted to be read on behalf of myself, my children and my family. He told me that the letter had been read aloud in court by the guardian ad litem. It was read against the defendant's wishes. The defense attorney asked the judge to rule that the letter just be made part of the file and not be read out loud but the prosecutor argued that the victim's mother and family would be speaking in person if they had the opportunity to be here and since they can't be here she sent this letter to be read and the court should honor her wishes and read the letter aloud. He said that the pedophile sat looking very uncomfortable as the letter was being read. He didn't have any choice but to listen, though.

He also reported that the pedophile's family had requested that they be allowed to deliver the convicted pedophile to the jailhouse IN THEIR PERSONAL VEHICLE. HELLO! What's wrong with this picture folks? It's no wonder he can't accept responsibility for his crimes when he has them following around behind him to kiss all of his "boo-boos". I couldn't believe it when the prosecutor told me they had the nerve to ask that. He laughed just as hard as I did and said that he thought he had heard it all until that one. Needless to say, the judge remanded the pedophile into the custody of the state and he left escorted by an officer in handcuffs. So, he is finally behind bars, where he needs to be, for the next five years anyway. We're picking up the pieces, closing this chapter, and getting on with our lives. God gets the glory for getting us through this nightmare.

Praise God...

2009-11-05T15:16:00.000-05:00

He accepted the plea agreement and pled guilty. He will serve five years in prison and seven years of sex offender probation, plus he will have to register as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. I cannot thank God enough for his mercy in bringing this to a close the way he did and sparing my baby girl from having to testify. I feel that he should have to spend the rest of his life in prison for what he did, but I've prayed all along for God's will and I accept the way He has chosen to resolve this hideous situation. Now, maybe we can turn the page and get on with our lives.

When the prosecutor came in on Tuesday morning he announced that the pedophile was "waffling" on the terms of the plea and might be persuaded to accept if a lesser number of years could be offered. He also announced that the pedophile's sister was prepared to take the stand and testify that I had confided in her that he was abusing me and that I had made a statement to her that alluded to the fact that I had it in for him and was going to make him pay. It was something to that affect and totally ludicrous. That is one thing that I can say about him - he never raised a hand to me. Ever. She was willing to perjure herself to keep her brother from going to prison. The sad thing is that the jury probably would have believed her since she, herself, had spent the last years of her career as a public servant, and retired from a position in this state as a hearing officer.

The pedophile finally accepted the plea when he was granted his wish to not be sentenced until January. I guess he wants to spend the holidays with his family. His mother probably won't be alive in five years when he gets out of prison. It was very sad to see her sit and cry in chambers when we had to sit and listen to the judge read the charges and question the pedophile and his choice to enter a plea agreement. If I had to sit and listen to my son accept a guilty plea on sex crime charges against a child I would be mortified and cry my eyes out, too. He brought it all on himself, though. His actions has caused grief on both sides. My mother sits and cries, too, because of what he did to Baby. She broke down just this morning telling me that this situation and the horror that Baby has been through hurts her as bad as when my brother died, if not worse.

I think what it all boiled down to in the end, though, was that he ultimately didn't want this to go to trial because he didn't want his family to have to watch the videotaped interview and hear Baby tell what he had done to her. She is so very brave and, as scared as she was, she was prepared to take the stand and tell her story. She was going to speak out in honor of all the little boys and girls who had suffered the same fate and kept their secret silent. I'm so proud of her.

my surprise...

2009-11-02T14:35:00.000-05:00

I was totally blown out of the water when the prosecutor threw a big stack of papers on the table in front of me and announced that it was the discovery which had been delivered to his office by the defendent late last week. Part of the discovery was this blog. I guess I was stupid to think that I could write anonymously on the internet. When the prosecutor said that part of the discovery was my email blog I asked him to clarify and he said "you know the one that you posted on writing about his case." I said "oh, you mean my secret blog?" and he said "well it wasn't very secret, was it?"

Anyway the prosecutor read all of these posts and said that he felt my posts had emboldened the pedophile into thinking that we didn't have anything to go on and into thinking that he was going to win at trial. That may prevent him from accepting a plea bargain. I think he is stupid to not accept it since he is looking at two life sentences, but like the prosecutor said, people who commit these types of crimes are self-assured and he is cocky enough to think that he is invincible.

The stack of papers also listed his witnesses which included his sister, sis in law, niece and niece in law, his two ex-wives and even our pastor. I don't know what everyone is supposed to tell but I know that his sister and nieces were recipients of some emails from my son when all of this came to light and he kind of blasted the pedophile. It seems pretty irrelevant to me and the prosecutor agrees to this too. Interestingly enough, one of the exwives only stuck around for two months so I don't see how in the world she could be used as a character witness. They are probably back in bed together. She was at the fall festival at church on Halloween night and kept staring at me. I really didn't even know who she was but finally figured it out. This is the same wife that used to fall in the floor feigning seizures every time they would have an argument - the one that he loved to ridicule when he was with me. She has a grandchild now so maybe that is what his interest is.

I also found out that he didn't ask for membership into the church that he and his family now attend until the pastor left to go to another church out of state. The new pastor didn't know about his past so I guess he saw that as a prime time to go up front and ask for membership. It is such a shame to see what he has perpetrated in the name of God and how he has tried to mock God. He reminds me of that verse in Galations about mocking God. He's sick. That's for sure. I just pray for his soul.

the plot thickens...

2009-11-02T14:26:00.000-05:00

Once again the pedophile has been given a reprieve. I met with the prosecutor to be asked what is the least I would be willing to accept to keep this from going to trial and I said 5 years prison time plus probation to follow. He had to nerve to come back and say that he is willing to do probation. Unbelievable. Well, the prosecutor said that he probably wouldn't accept the plea bargain but we had to try anyway. When we got into judge's chambers his lawyer argued that his client had just found out last week that the charges had been amended and he is facing two life sentences and it is an awful lot for him to have to digest. So, the judge allowed him to think it over until 8:45 in the morning. If he doesn't accept the plea, then his attorney will probably ask for a continuance and of course the prosecution is going to fight that.

I was very proud of myself for keeping my calm when I had to sit across the table from him. He wouldn't even look my way. He was white as a sheet and looked like an old man. I was sitting there thinking "the last time I was this close to this man I was hugging him goodbye and telling him that I loved him and would miss him." We prayed together for travel mercies and I thought that we would be reunited in two weeks.

So, I will update in the morning when I find out what the next step is...thank everyone for prayers.

Plea Bargain...

2009-11-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

I talked to the prosecutor last Wednesday and he is going to offer the pedophile a plea bargain tomorrow. He knows the pedophile because he used to be a deputy in the court where this prosecutor works and he said that he doesn't expect him to accept it. The reason why is that he is very cocky and self-assured. Like most pedophiles he didn't think that he would get caught so he is playing this charade to the very end. I just can't believe that he wants his elderly mother to have to sit in a courtroom and hear all of the sordid details of what he did to Baby. Ridiculous, but par for the course with this one, I guess.

Anyways, the prosecutor wants me there tomorrow for the plea. I don't really know why because it isn't up to me. I asked him point blank if the victim had to agree to the plea bargain and he said no that he just wanted me there so that I could be informed. I hope he takes whatever it is because I don't want her to have to testify on the stand and she doesn't want to either. She will, of course, if it is the only chance she has of seeing him behind bars. Winning this case is a long shot since there's no hard evidence, but that's what life is about sometimes, right? Beating the odds.

Don't want to jinx it...

2009-10-25T21:07:00.000-04:00

I'm almost reluctant to mention this, but I'm back in town where the trial will be taking place and it appears to be set for the week of November 2. I've been in contact with the new prosecutor and he seems very helpful. We met with him last week and he questioned Baby for about an hour. He talked to me privately as well. He said that the trial will probably be on Thursday of that week. I'm just so ready for this to be over. If he's going to walk, let him walk...whatever...I just want it to be over so that we can get on with our lives and put all of this behind us.

Still waiting...

2009-07-16T11:15:00.001-04:00

I never in a million years would have imagined that a registered sex offender would be allowed to walk the streets for almost a year while waiting to go to trial on lewd and lascivious molestation charges...so un-freaking-believable it's ludicrous! Once again the pre-trial was held over until the end of July and the earliest hoped for criminal trial would be the week of August 3. I really don't look for it to happen then either, though. I'm sure his lawyer will come up with something else to hold off. I guess they think that if they keep pushing it back she will forget what he did to her, but there's not a chance of that happening. The assistant state's attorney that was handling the case has been moved to another district and the new one is someone that the pedophile knew from when he was in law inforcement. We may have to investigate for conflict of interest. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Trial is finally set...

2009-03-19T17:38:00.000-04:00

Today was the pre-trial and , believe it or not, it wasn't postponed. This makes the fourth one that has been scheduled so thank God it actually happened. The defense attorney allowed the final trial date to be set for the last week of May. I know. It seems like a long way off, but it won't be as long as it has been. The prosecutor told me today that he heard from the crime lab and they finally got to the evidence this week. Hopefully, the results of the dna will be back late next week. I'm very thankful for this because I kept thinking "what if this goes to trial and the pedophile gets off, then the dna comes back positive?" It might not be anything, but at least we will know now and not have to wonder what would have been. The prosecutor also said that the computer investigation is back on the computer that was confiscated. They didn't find any child pornography or hard core porn, but they did find naked women. I don't know if it was pictures that he had downloaded off of the web or what. It was explained to me that none of the photos displayed sex acts, so that's why it wasn't labeled as hard core porn. I finally received a copy of the interview that Baby had to do with the specialist from the Child Protection Team. At first I couldn't get it to play. I picked it up a few weeks later (on my birthday) and was able to watch it. It lasted about 45 minutes and was so heart wrenching to watch her sitting there telling a stranger what that pervert did to her. She is such a brave little girl. Please keep us in your prayers. It isn't over yet, but at least we're closer to the end than we were last summer.

Finally a date...

2009-02-14T20:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I hope that I'm not speaking too soon, but I believe that the date for the trial will be the last two days of March. The pre-trial was 2/12 so I called the prosecutor and asked him what happened at this proceeding. He said that the defense attorney couldn't have a case ready in time for the next court dates, which was 9 days out so it will probably be March 30 and 31. I will be on pins and needles until then because this has just been drug out too long. Thankfully, I also received a call from a friend at my old church wanting to know when the trial was because she is taking time off from work to be with me and she is also bringing her sister-in-law (who is another friend). She said that they were going to get some people together to show support for Baby in court. I feel a lot better about the court situation now.

All or nothing...

2009-01-16T17:34:00.000-05:00

I got to talk to the prosecutor yesterday and found out for sure that the defense attorney told him that he wouldn't be calling for depositions. The prosecutor said that he was really surprised but he figures that this other attorney must feel that there wouldn't be anything to be gained after watching the videotaped interview that Baby had to give to the Child Protection Team Specialist. The prosecutor also said that he already knows that the defense's main argument is going to be that I wanted out of the marriage and had her to make up all of these stories. The pedophile will have to take the stand to tell his story of how he has come to this conclusion. He has everything to lose by telling the truth so this will be his main story. The meat of the case will be Baby taking the stand and recounting what happened to her. I asked if the courtroom would be cleared and he said that the audience would be required to leave by that courtroom personnel, judge, jury and lawyers, of course, would remain present - and of course the pedophile has a constitutional right to be present to hear his accuser's testimony. I told her that if she has to that she can just stare straight at the floor or fix herself on something else instead of taking a chance on looking up at him and getting scared to talk. The main thing that I wanted to make sure of was that his family could not be allowed to sit in court because I can just see them sitting there glaring at this 9 year old recounting the terrifying stories that she has locked inside. People are in disbelief that he has so many people on his side, but they just don't realize how cunning he is and just what a sociopath he truly is. I think he even has his lawyer fooled because I figured the guy would want to do depos and then plea bargain, but there won't be any bargaining here, so it's going to be all or nothing. The prosecutor said that he is confident that if she can take the stand and recount the details as she did in the videotaped interview then the pedophile will be convicted.

No Depos Will Be Held

2009-01-14T14:15:00.000-05:00

I haven't had any real news to report, but I just hung up with the guardian ad litem for Baby and she gave me a little bit of confusing news. I don't know whether to be disturbed about it or not. She said that she had spoken with the prosecutor yesterday and he told her that the defense attorney had advised him that he would not be calling a deposition. Now, that's the part that has me totally confused. The deposition is the defense attorney's time to gather information and try to build his case. This would be his chance to talk to me and Baby to hear what we are going to say in court. This would be a time for him to decide if he wants to try to plea bargain. So, either he feels that this is an open and shut case and there isn't a chance of his client being convicted or he knows that no matter what kind of case he builds his client isn't going to make it out alive. I wish I knew which way this lawyer was thinking! It is going to make me a nervous wreck until I find out this lawyer's reasoning for not wanting to do a depo!

Getting Ready for Santa...

2008-12-24T22:36:00.000-05:00

It's almost time to play Santa. The kids haven't went to bed yet, but it won't be long. I'm glad that we get to have this fun time in the middle of everything else. Church was good tonight too. We had a candlelight service while we took the Lord's Supper.

As hard as I try not to talk about JS and the things that have happened I think that Baby thinks about it on her own. She asked me yesterday, "Mama, if you could see him where would you want it to be?" I told her that I would like for it to be somewhere that was private with nobody else around so that I could say exactly what I wanted to say without feeling inhibited by a crowd. She said "Aren't you going to ask me?" So, I said "Okay, tell me where you would like to be when you see him." She replied with "I would like to talk to him through bars." I thought about it a little while later and I'm sure that she is thinking of the safety factor that bars would offer. She could say exactly what she wanted to say and get everything off of her chest without having to worry about any retaliation from him. I'm glad that for tonight, even if it's just tonight, that all she has to worry or think about is when Santa is coming and what he will bring. Merry Christmas to all of my blog friends. I hope that your day is special and that you get to spend it surrounded by the ones that you love.

A little word

2008-12-18T20:06:00.001-05:00

I finally got a little word from the guardian ad litem this week. She called on Tuesday while I was out and requested that I call her back. She really just wanted to check in on Baby Girl and see how she was doing. She seems fine, but I know that appearances can be deceiving. She did not know that JS had a different lawyer now and she agreed that he was a good one, but wasn't overly concerned that he would win the case for his defendant. She said that I shouldn't be surprised if this case doesn't go to trial in January when it is scheduled, especially since we haven't even been called down for the depositions yet. As a word of comfort she added that it really is better sometimes when it does take longer to get to court because the prosecution is building a better case. I'm thankful for that.

His name has come up several times around here lately. I overheard Baby telling my mother last night that he wouldn't let her get up from the table unless she had drank every bit of the milk from her cereal bowl. My mom assured her that she wouldn't have to worry about any thing like that happening again. I know that kid is so relieved that she is away from there and here safe with people who love her.

I can't even imagine what a miserable Christmas he will be having. I mean, you know that it has to be on his mind constantly that there is a good chance this will be the last Christmas he will ever spend out in society. I wish that I had the money to do so and I would go ahead and file for divorce. There won't be any squabbling over anything. He can keep the land and home and his truck and I will keep my car. He is also going to relinquish his parental rights. I never, ever would have consented to the adoption if I had known that he was a pedophile. He had a well laid out plan and was successful with his deceit. If he refuses to sign over his rights then I will fight him for the land, which is family property. I'm sure that I won't have any trouble there. I won't have the money to file, though, probably until February or March. Oh, well. It's not like I have to be around him or anything. I'm having my maiden name restored and Baby wants her last name to be that too. There is no sense in her carrying the name of a man that molested her and it will be a constant reminder to her for the rest of her life.

Disturbing news...

2008-12-05T07:12:00.000-05:00

I found out yesterday from a friend that JS lawyer is supposed to be one of the best in the state. Now, that's upsetting! I think he was appointed by the court, too. My friend is friends with a lady who is a volunteer guardian ad litem and she just so happened to be the guardian ad litem on the other case that he was involved in, where the victim was a 17 year old girl. She is a lawyer and assured my friend that there is no way he will get out of this. I'm just worried that someone won't cross a "T" and dot an "I" somewhere and he will worm out of this. The scumbag is just that smart.

Prosecutor called...

2008-12-03T16:18:00.000-05:00

I finally got to talk to the prosecutor to find out about depositions. He said that the defense attorney had been in Tennessee in federal court for two weeks and wouldn't return to the state until next week so that's what we're waiting for. I just wanted to make sure that he knew I'm not right there in town and that I have 800 miles to drive each way. He also told me that the pedophile is no longer represented by a court appointed attorney because he hired a lawyer when he was released from jail. I didn't know he had that much money. It doesn't matter though, because his high-priced lawyer isn't going to get him out of what he has done. The prosecutor also told me that they can call for a continuance by January 5th and possibly move the trial date of January 26th back even further. I hope that doesn't happen because the longer this thing drags out the longer it takes for us to get past all of this to put it behind us and move on with our lives.

Date for Jury Trial is Set...

2008-12-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

I received the paperwork announcing the jury trial that is set for January 26th. It has been a long time coming, but I know that God's timing is perfect so this is way it has to be. I have a call into the prosecutor so that I can find out when we need to go down there for depositions.

I was especially thankful this Thanksgiving for safety. That was first and foremost in my mind. I though a lot about what he and his family would be doing this year for Thanksgiving. I guess the prayers were tearful realizing the possibility that their beloved son and brother might not get to be with them for any more holidays after Christmas.

I still find it difficult to believe that not one single person from his family has had any communication with me since I've found out what he has done and confronted him. That was way back in July. Well, his sister was the exception. She sent me an email saying that she didn't know who was telling the truth and it wasn't for her to judge but that the bible says "love covers a multitude of sins." It sure does, but it doesn't cover you hurting one of my kids. Maybe someday it will, but not right now. They are all standing behind him and even left the church to attend elsewhere with him. Our pastor told him not to return on advice of the Christian Law Association. It's such a horrific liability when you have a sex offender in your congregation. It galls me to think of the people who hide behind the church so that they can perpetrate their crimes further. The sad thing is that the church which he is attending now is teeming with children. Most families have four and five kids, ranging from infants to teens.

Now, his sister has on her myspace "praying for someone who used to be very close in my life" and her mood is "sad". I'm glad and thankful for all prayers, but I hope that she is praying for her brother's soul and for him to come clean with what he has done. I guess they all sat around the Thanksgiving table and listened to more of the lies he is tangling himself up in. I know for a fact that he is telling them that we were having problems and just never told anyone. His mother has been going around town telling people that she guesses I had it in my mind to leave when I went to visit my mother. There couldn't be anything further from the truth. There was only one thing that would make me leave him and that was hurting one of my children.

He entered a written plea...

2008-11-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

His public defender attorney was the only one in court this morning to enter a written plea of not guilty on the pedophile's behalf. Apparently arraignment day is a time when the judge reads charges of numerous cases and the defendants don't have to be present in some of these cases. So, he is walking around free, on his own recognizance. I've never heard of anything so ludicrous in all of my life. The victim counselor was present in court during the reading of the plea and she came out to the prosecutor's office to call me and advise of the happenings. She said that he would be in court all day. She also said something that I really had to bite my tongue to keep from spewing on her. I asked what her role was and did she always go to court with the prosecutor. She said "no, only in cases where I'm required to be there because I do most of my work from the office and when I'm in court I'm usually just sitting there and not getting my office work done." Then she went on to say "you're really lucky that you have two people in your corner...myself and the guardian ad litem since the victim is a child." I felt like saying "how the hell can you tell a mother who is going through what I'm going through that she is lucky?" I was good, though, and kept my mouth shut.

The motions day is set for Dec. 18th and the pre-trial is Jan. 5th. She said that if there weren't any motions to bring forth then that date wouldn't even be held. An example of a motion would be to suppress evidence or gather more information through a deposition. Although I was told last month that I should probably plan on being down there around the first week in December for a deposition. She said that may still hold true. So we're still sitting here kind of in the dark, not really knowing how this is all going to play out. I feel guilty because I keep praying and telling God that I'll accept his will and that it is in his hands but then I find myself sitting and thinking of ways that I can push things along and thinking of what I will do if he gets out of this. I can't even get my head wrapped around what he has done, much less what I will do if he walks.

they make me wait

2008-11-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know why the prosecutor thinks that I'm sitting here leisurely passing the time away. I called him at 11:30 which was 2.5 hours after JS had to be in court for the arraignment. He was in court so I told his secretary that I wanted an update on what happened in court. Had I not been 800 miles away I would have been right there in the courtroom too. She said "well, I give him your message" in a tone that indicated he may or may not call. I think he must be bad about returning calls because one time when I called and complained that he may not be getting my messages one of the ladies in that office told me "oh, he gets the messages...that's our job." I'll just bug the hell out of them until someone returns my call. I'm glad that the lawyer I talked to yesterday was so nice to me. She even gave me her cell phone number so if the prosecutor doesn't return my call or I can't reach him this afternoon I will call her and see if she can tell me what happened in court. There are some other issues that I need to discuss with her, too...like the fact that JS was in law enforcement in that county for years and I wonder if the trial shouldn't be moved to another county. I also found out that the prosecutor's father was the lawyer to handle JS case to have his sex offender supervision terminated early. I'm thinking conflict of interest so definitely will find out from the guardian ad litem what she thinks about it.

Guardian Ad Litem

2008-11-19T17:52:00.000-05:00

The guardian ad litem called today and introduced herself, explaining what her role would be in Baby's case. She was a very nice lady and explained to me that she would be present at the deposition and during any court appearances or anything else that she needed to be present for. I did get the chance to find out that if Baby has to testify the courtroom will be cleared of everybody except the people who absolutely have to be there, like the jury, state attorney, defense attorney and defendant and also the guardian ad litem. When I asked if I could remain present she said that it was up to Baby and I, but she really expects me to be there and has already planned on me sitting in front of the witness stand so that she can focus on me when she is testifying. I never in my gravest nightmare would have imagined my child having to testify against a pedophile and yet we are living in that nightmare. She nice lady asked how Baby was doing and I told her the best that we can expect. She doesn't talk about the abuse very much but certain things and topics of conversation will illicit a negative response from her regarding the pedophile. I certainly can't say that I blame her. Tomorrow is the arraignment, so I guess the state attorney will call and fill me in on how the pedophile pleads. The guardian ad litem also explained to me that if the defense attorney calls for a deposition he will use the video of when Baby gave her statement to develop those questions. I just want all of this to be over so that we can get on with our lives and stop living in apprehension of what is to come.

Visit to the counselor...

2008-11-17T19:02:00.000-05:00

Well, I think Baby Girl opened up a little bit to the counselor today. I went in first to give an update on some things that were happening with the case and I told the counselor that BG was exhibiting signs of bitterness (what kid wouldn't?) and so she asked her after I left who was she the most mad at. She told her that she was the most angry at him. When she came out of the office she had this big stuffed dog in her arms. I was like "what in the world do you have?" Her counselor said "well, since her grandmother has allergies and she can't have a dog right now I am giving her this one...I have too many anway." I thought that was so sweet. He is a big sheep dog puppet. I know it must have cost a lot of money, but Baby Girl was tickled to death and she clutched him to her chest all the way home. I took some pix of her because she was so proud of that dog.

Nothing new is going on with the case. I'm still waiting on DNA results and the arraignment is 11/20 so we will see what happens then. Maybe a miracle and he'll plead guilty when the judge reads the charges. Yea right! They never admit guilt!

State Attorney called...

2008-11-14T19:33:00.001-05:00

Well, I finally got a call from the state attorney's office today regarding the letter that I faxed to him this past Monday. In the letter I asked him how could a registered sex offender re-offend and still be out walking the streets. He basically replied to this with the same line about how the pedophile was arrested too early before a case could be put together and since he sat in jail for 40 days without being charged he had to be released. So, he is basically out on his own recognizance right now. He was very defensive about the fact that I had questioned his assistant. He told me that assistant had went above and beyond what was expected and that if it were him prosecuting the case he never would have filed because there isn't any corroborating evidence. When I said that assistant is prosecuting because I'm pushing him the state attorney sounded very irritated as he replied that "you don't have to push assistant...he does his job and is the most conscientious lawyer in this office." Good Lord, if not calling the victim until day 39 and allowing a child molester to walk free is considered conscientious then I think we're in real trouble.

I should have been a lawyer

2008-11-07T18:32:00.001-05:00

I spoke with the assistant state attorney that is handling this case yesterday and he confirmed that he had in fact re-filed the charges. I just worry about his competence. He sounds like a young kid! When I asked what the charges were filed as he replied with "sexual battery on a child under the age of 12." I said, "oh, no...I thought you were going to file under the other charge." So, he comes back with "hold on...let me check the file." Come on now. This is a repeat sex offender. Don't you think the lawyer handling the case should be a little more familiar with the file? I've never seen such stoogery in my whole life. When he finally found the file and agreed that he had refiled it as lewd molestation I said "well, thank God, because with that charge he can get mandatory life as a re-offender, right?" He starts agreeing wholeheartedly with everything I'm saying at this point.

Well, I sat down today and wrote a letter to the state attorney for that district, which is this other guy's boss. I'm going to send it registered mail tomorrow and then I'm going to call his office on Monday and tell his secretary to be on the lookout for it. I'm going to advise her to route the letter and possible email his way because this case is getting ready to get some major press coverage. I've had enough.

lunchtime call...

2008-10-23T20:49:00.000-04:00

I'm glad I took the chance to catch the lawyer in on my lunch break today. He said that he is getting ready to start reviewing the old case because there are a lot of similarities between that one and this one. He also said that he has to get the case back from the special attorney and hopefully by the end of next week he will have refiled these charges as lewd molestation. If he is convicted he will do mandatory life...it is just unbelievable to me that a person would risk throwing the rest of his life away to wield his lustful power over a child.

The arraignment will be November 20th and I will have to go back down there around the first of December for the deposition. Baby Girl will have to go too...don't know when the court date will be yet. It makes is difficult for me to work, and I especially don't know how my new employers are going to feel about me having to be off around that time. Oh, well, they are lawyers too, so maybe they will understand. I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for all of this to be over. I want my life back...and even at that I know we'll never have our lives back because nothing will ever be the same again.

I wish...

2008-10-21T12:15:00.000-04:00

I wish that I had a bunch of good stuff to report, but I don't. I don't have anything bad to report so maybe that's good. I did receive a call last Thursday from the prosecuting attorney kind of updating me on the case. He said that he had been advised by the another attorney who is supposed to be a specialist in these types of cases that he should go ahead and refile the charges because there is case law to support filing lewd molestation on explicit detail only. We are still waiting for the results of the DNA evidence to come back. I hope and pray that it will be something conclusive. I feel like my life is in limbo. I can't get a good, full time job because I know that at some point in the next few months I'm going to have to pick up and go down there for criminal court. I know that God knows all about it though. I keep telling myself that it is in God's hands and no matter what happens I will still give him the glory that he deserves.

I just put a call in to the attorney to get an update on whether or not he has refiled the charges. I also advised him when we last spoke that I would be interested in hearing what the ex-wives have to share so hopefully he has been able to contact some of them. I'll post when I hear more.

another counselor visit...

2008-10-02T20:25:00.000-04:00

Baby had another counselor visit today. She hasn't even revealed anything about the abuse to the counselor yet. They do play therapy. I guess the counselor is trying to wait until Baby feels really comfortable with her. She told me this morning that she didn't want to go anymore. She really enjoys going and playing with this lady, though. I don't know how much good it is going. I guess they are establishing a relationship so that they will have that bond when the time does come to talk.

Nothing new is happening with the case...still waiting on the results of the examination of the linoleum rug. I believe that he is feeling the noose a little more now that he realizes they went into his brother's trailer and took up part of the rug. Surely he remembers what took place in that bathroom. I can't believe how stupid and inconsiderate he was to do that to my Baby.

I'm only human...

2008-09-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

I have to call the deputy investigator tomorrow so that she can meet my friend at the storage unit to turn over the pedophile's computer. It's hard to tell what they'll find on there. I can't believe that he is still maintaining his innocence even after they have went into that trailer. There is no way he is going to be able to explain away his DNA on that bathroom floor. I think about what all he has done to that child and the hell and torment he put her through and my thoughts get out of control. I want to kill him. Hey, I'm only human...not saying that I would ever do it, but I can fantasize about it.

the waiting game

2008-09-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

The sheriff's investigator called yesterday to let me know that she and another deputy had went into the trailer and removed a large portion of the linoleum in the bathroom floor to send off to fdle. I'm thankful that they did it this way because she had planned on taking swabs. Now, that the crime lab has a 3'6" by 3'8" piece of evidence to work with I think there is a better chance of finding something. She said that the brother whose property the trailer is on was very helpful. When she called to tell him to come on out he said "sure, no problem", but then called back in about an hour letting her know that his brother's lawyer wanted a search warrant. So, that is what they had to go with. Now, we just have to wait and see what they find on the linoleum. She said that it could take a month or two. When I commented that it would take more than a few days she said "oh, yes...CSI really gives us a bad rap with people...things just don't happen that fast."

It's in the Lord's hands and always has been. I'm not giving up on this, though. I'm fighting to get justice for my baby girl. When she gets older and has the intellect to really understand what has happened I want her to remember that I stood up for her and went down fighting.

exciting news!!!!

2008-09-24T06:44:00.000-04:00

I talked to the lawyer yesterday for the State Attorney's office and I think we're finally getting somewhere with this case. I told him that the trailer the pedophile took Baby in was an abandoned trailer and he didn't know this before. He is sending an investigator there to set up a crime scene and test for DNA. Baby said that her Daddy "squirted" in the bathroom floor, so I pray that it is still there. The lawyer said that if they find anything it will be tested for a mixture, which would be his and hers body fluids, so that is all the proof right there. I hope and pray that they haven't burnt that trailer down or something. If there is signs that it has been bleached then that can be used a proof of wrongdoing, too. This trailer hasn't been lived in for years so it wouldn't have been cleaned with a mop for a very long time.

Another good thing, too, is that the investigator for the attorney has found some things out about the old case, from his previous conviction. He lied when he told me that he had intercourse with the girl. The lawyer told me that there were similarities between this case and that one. That one involved only oral sex too. The girl is in the military, but the investigator is trying to track her down so that she can be questioned. I hope that she provides some insight into this case. I pray that there is DNA in that trailer. Even though I know that he did what he did and there is no question in my mind the DNA will help him get what he deserves and will prove to his family that he is not the little innocent that they think he is.

the nerve of some people

2008-09-22T17:29:00.000-04:00

I found out today that the pervert tried to attend church yesterday at the same church where we used to go together. He was sent away at the door. He had already been told by the pastor that, acting on the direction of the Christian Law Association, he could not come back to church until this was cleared up. Apparently, he thinks that things have changed or else he thinks that he will not be charged. The reason why the pastor had to tell him this was because of his prior conviction. Now that this abuse has surfaced his prior conviction has come to light to many people and the church is in a bad situation to be liable for negative actions. It's sad to say, but some people might say something happened when it really didn't just to get money out of the church.

He will probably lie to anyone that asks him about these allegations just like he lied to me about his previous conviction. He said that his ex-wife was the secretary of a judge and that she set him up by sending a young girl to him. He didn't know how young she was and she sent her boyfriend to get hamburgers so that she could come on to the pervert. He said that he knew it was wrong, but he was out of fellowship with the Lord and he let his lustful desires take over and he had sex with her. I'm going to go to the courthouse in the county where it happened and try to get a copy of the court papers. My cousin said that he found it online where the pervert's charges had something to do with the computer, so I'm wondering if he didn't solicit this young girl over the computer or something. It's hard to tell and we sure won't get the truth out of him, especially since he is denying everything he has done.

His family is standing behind him all of the way, especially his mother. They were with him when he was turned away at church and they left too. It's really sad that they could guide him and maybe help him to see the error of his ways, but instead they enable him to continue this charade of innocence.

I didn't call the attorney today because I'm going to give it until tomorrow to see if the inspector calls me. That way I'll have more to go on when I report it to the Attorney General. No one is doing anything or seems to even care. The longer it takes for this to come to trial the less chance I feel like we have of getting Baby to testify. I don't know for sure if she will have to, but I told her that she might and if she doesn't do it then that could mean that he walks free. She said "Well, if I don't do it, will you be mad?" I told her no, but that if she didn't do it she might be mad at herself in later years. I think she will do it, though.

the cold, hard facts

2008-09-20T21:49:00.000-04:00

The more I've sat here and thought about it, the madder I get. The assistant state attorney did not call me until the eleventh hour to inform me that we didn't have enough corroborating evidence. By that time it was too late to come up with anything to hold the pedophile in jail. He told me that same day that a special investigator would be getting in touch with me. I've yet to see that happen. I'm very displeased with the way that this case has been handled. It almost makes me think that because of the pervert's connections with the police and sheriffs that he is getting out of this. I'm going to go down fighting. I'm calling the State Attorney's office on Monday and if I'm not satisfied with the way he handles it then I'm calling the Attorney General. If I don't get any satisfaction there, then I will call the Inspector General's office. Something is going to be done. This is not going to be swept under the rug.

the ex-blessing...

2008-09-17T08:33:00.000-04:00

It is so strange how people that you think love you and would do anything in the world for you can so quickly turn against you in a situation like this. When I first returned home to proceed with having the pedophile arrested I went into the home to find that his mother had returned all of the pictures of myself and my children. I'm thinking "okay...how childish can you be? Your son is a pedophile and molested my daughter but you're going to turn on me? This is crazy!" She always talked about what a blessing I was to their family and when I was gone away from her to visit my mother she would say "I've never missed anybody so much in my whole life." Well, wonder how much she misses me now? She shouldn't be too lonely, though. Her perverted, pedophile son is getting out of jail today. They can snuggle and comfort each other. It's going to be a long few months that we have ahead of us.

State Attorney called...

2008-09-17T08:28:00.000-04:00

The state attorney called me yesterday and talked for a long time. It appears that the pervert is going to be released from jail today. There is a law that says perverts can't be held for more than 40 days without being charged. Since there is no corroborating evidence at the time they cannot charge him. I know that God is in control of this situation. He has given me such a peace with this that it is just amazing. The attorney assured me that this was not over and that a special investigator was going to be calling me in the next few days to see what other information we can come up with. He said that a lot of little things can add up to something big in a case like this. If we can't come up with something more solid he doesn't feel real positive that we can get a conviction. I thank God, though, that there isn't any solid evidence because then that would mean that he had raped my baby and left DNA. Thank you Jesus for no evidence!

He finally gets picked up...

2008-09-17T08:21:00.000-04:00

We had to wait six days after Baby made the disclosure to CPS and the deputy before she could go before the Child Protection Team and be interviewed on video. It was the longest six days of our lives. He committed this heinous crime and gets to walk around free while we are hiding trying to avoid him. He was served the restraining order paperwork on Thursday evening, which was the last day of July. It's only a piece of paper though, and no guarantee of protection. We spent five nights in hotels and then when our pastor returned from vacation he contacted me and told me to come to the church and stay in the prophet's chambers. We gladly took him up on the offer.

The deputy investigator that was handling the case stayed in close contact with me. Baby interviewed on Wednesday and they were finally able to arrest him Thursday at work. The investigator said that he knew her. His boss called him to the office and when he saw the investigator there he said, "XXX am I under arrest?" When she said yes he said, "Oh, dear God". She said that she couldn't see his eyes because he had on aviator sunglasses, but she could see his mouth quivering and knew that he was getting ready to cry. You need to cry out to God, dude! You made my kid cry enough when you were molesting her!!!

looking like bandits

2008-09-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

After leaving the courthouse we basically hid around town all day waiting for the paperwork to be served to him. We went to the library. We went to my old school to return some materials. Park. Library. Then around 1 o'clock we went to Hardees and grabbed a burger. We went over to Wendy's and hid under the trees to eat. From here we could watch the street to see if her was coming by this way. Sure enough, about 1:45 pm he came by on his way to work. Well, I felt a little safer now. I knew though, that if I went straight to the house that his mom would call him home from work. I didn't feel safe and I wouldn't feel safe until he was in jail.

the next few days

2008-09-12T13:43:00.000-04:00

The next few days were so full of decisions and appointments it just made all of our heads spin. I had to take Baby to a family counselor. I had to call Child Protective Services in the state where I lived (which is where the molestation took place). They took the report and then a worker called me back and told me that because I couldn't return to that state within 24 hours of making the report I had to take Baby to the nearest law enforcement agency and have an officer call her and verify that Baby was safe and not in danger. The next day I headed back down South. The worker had told me that I would have to meet with her and a deputy sheriff and once the child made the admission that she had been abused she would have to go before the Child Protection Team in another city to be interviewed. I was so tired from lack of sleep but, once again, God sent our guardian angels to watch over us on the all day drive.

We drove all day Wednesday and stayed in a motel about 45 minutes outside of town. I didn't want to have any run-ins with him if he was out prowling around. I found out from a friend that he had not been going to work. She had seen his truck in the yard on Monday and Tuesday. This is the same friend who works at the school that I taught at. I had already called the principal and told him that I was in a family crisis and wouldn't be back. I emailed my resignation. I hated to do it, but felt that I had no choice. My main goal now was to get her to the people that needed to interview her so that he could be locked up.

We met the social worker and a deputy at the jail in town at 9:30 on Thursday morning. Once Baby told what had happened the worker tried to call and get an appointment for her to be interviewed. Unfortunately the person that is supposed to be the best at this type of interview was on vacation and wouldn't be available until the following week. So, here we are in town with him running around and us not knowing what time he is going to approach us or even hurt us. The worker suggested that I get a restraining order on him so that he couldn't come to the house. I realize that it is just a piece of paper and no guarantee of protection but I did it anyway. I felt like that would buy us some time away from from him while we were waiting for the interview and subsequent arrest.

the doctor

2008-09-12T13:25:00.000-04:00

I hated doing it worse than anything but I had to get her to the Emergency Room. I know she must have been humiliated. I thank God for the good people that he put in our path there. The nurse that came out to triage Baby was so kind. The first words out of her mouth were, "I just want to let you know that I'm so proud of you for telling your mom about what has been going on and I'm so proud of your mom for bringing you here. You don't have anything to be ashamed of because you haven't done anything wrong." She gently asked questions in kid terms until she got the information that she wanted.

We had to wait a little bit and then they put us in a room where the doctor would see her. He was very nice, too. The nurse did most of the talking because the doctor felt like Baby was more comfortable with that. Baby told her that her daddy had put his mouth on her between her legs and had made her put her mouth on his privates. He sucked her boobies and put his tongue in her mouth. The doctor sat and listened attentively, taking notes. She said, "He would make me get on my knees on the edge of the bed and he would stand behind me and put his thing between my legs so it looked like I had a thing too. He would move back and forth and say 'get it coocoo monster' ". The nurse asked her did she remember how many times he had made her do things like that and she said that it was too many times to count. After she told everything the nurse told her that the doctor just needed to look at her bottom to make sure everything was okay. He took a quick look and confirmed that she had not been penetrated. I thanked God for that because it is just a wonder that he didn't lose control of himself and tear her down there. It makes me want to squall my eyes out thinking about it.

When the doctor was finished with his examination the nurse asked Baby was she mad at her daddy. Baby said, "Yes, I'm mad. He did bad things to me and he claimed to be a Christian. I know that's not true because Christians don't do things like that." The doctor asked Baby what made her finally tell her mom. She said, "I talked to God and He let me know that it was time to tell my mom." When I looked up the nurse had tears dripping from her chin. God's timing is always perfect.

the confrontation

2008-09-12T13:03:00.001-04:00

I can't think of a time when I have been more wired and stressed out than the night and day after Baby told me what her Daddy had been doing to her. I was so sickened and almost paralyzed with grief. I can't even explain it. I sat up all night and then when my mom woke at 8 a.m. I told her. She cried and yelled. She was so upset. This was her little Baby Cakes that had been done this way.

I waited until 1:30 to call him and confront him because I knew that he would be in church and running errands until around that time. I drove up town and parked in front of an office building on the street to call on my cell phone. I didn't want Baby and the rest of the family to hear me. I couldn't let her know the disgust and hatred in my voice. This was the gist of the conversation:

Him: Hello dear...how are you?

Me: Well, I tell you, not too good...I've had the rug pulled out from under me.

Him: What has happened now?

Me: Well, my daughter came to me last night and spilled her guts about how you've been molesting her.

Him: What? Why would she say such a thing?

Me: Because it's true. I can tell by the things that she is saying that she isn't making it up. She told about how you've been making her suck your dick. You even put chocolate syrup on it to make her lick it off.

Him: Stop! That's sick! How can you say such disgusting things?

(at this point he has terror in his voice and I can tell that he is getting ready to break down...I later told my Mom that he didn't even sound like the man that I had been married to for the last six years...if I had been listening to a taped conversation of a wife confronting her husband I wouldn't have even recognized his voice...it was just so high pitched and weird)

Me: Yes! You're right! It is disgusting. You're a sick individual and you need to get help.

Him: Oh, dear God! No! Please don't say these things. I don't know what I've done to make her mad at me but she is making these stories up.

Me: You had better cry out to God because he is the only one who can help you right now. Stop lying and come clean. You might lie to me and even lie to yourself, but you can't lie to God.

Him: (sobbing)... boohoohoo...boohoohoo...I'm losing my family....boohoohoo

Me: You've already lost us. I'll be back to XXX one day this week to get my belongings. As for contacting a lawyer I haven't done anything like that yet, but it is in the works. I'm divorcing you as soon as I get a chance.

Him: (more sobbing)...no God...oh dear God...boohoohoo...boohoohoo

(at this point I'm yelling his name to try to get him to shut up and listen but he continues to sob for about two minutes and I finally hang up on him)

a cover up

2008-09-01T21:54:00.000-04:00

It was immediately apparent to me that Baby needed the assurance that I would stand behind her and not make her go around him again. She said "What are you going to do now, Mama? How are we going to catch him?" Once I told her that she wouldn't ever have to go around him again, I could tell that she relaxed even more. You know that kid probably lived in fear everyday of what was going to happen next. She had asked me numerous times in the past year "Mama, would you ever divorce Daddy?" I assured her that there was no way that would ever happen and that we were a Christian family and that meant that we could always work out our problems if we focused on God. I cringe now thinking about the hell that man put my baby through and how he used God and the church to perpetrate his sick deeds. He was in church every time the doors were open that he wasn't at work and he was always witnessing to people and inviting them to church. I guess it was all a cover up. I couldn't and still can't get my head wrapped around the fact that this man who professed to love me and our children could commit such heinous acts against a child. I don't understand how he could molest our nine year old daughter and then come and get in bed with me, professing his love and devotion.

A strange calm...

2008-09-01T21:43:00.000-04:00

You never know exactly how you will react in any given situation until that time becomes reality. I knew that I had to stay calm because if I fell apart my baby would shut down and not tell me what I need to know - what I didn't want to hear, but knew that I had to listen to. I took her to the bathroom and cleaned up her nose bleed, assuring her the whole time that everything would be okay - that she was safe and no one could hurt her. We went back to the bed and sat up in the middle of the bed. I realized that I had to ask questions in such a way as to not lead her into saying things that weren't true or to just not lead her, period. I asked for explanations, using simple terms and prodding with juvenile questions. Once she began to relate what she had been through for as long as she could remember, the details began to roll out like they were spilling from someone who hadn't had anyone to talk to in years. She talked and she talked. When she was finished she fell back onto the bed and said "Mama, it sure does feel good to get stuff off of your chest, doesn't it?" I said, "Yes, Baby, it sure does, and don't you ever hold things on your heart and mind without telling Mommy, okay?" She promised that she wouldn't. When I asked her why she didn't come to me and tell me the very first time that this happened she said, "Daddy said not to tell you because you would be mad". I guess that he led her to believe that I would be mad at her. I was in such a state that I believe I could have taken his life that night and not thought twice about it.

The Disclosure

2008-09-01T21:33:00.000-04:00

It was July 26th. We had been a Mom's house for eight nights and she had slept with Baby each night on the foldout couch. She was complaining that her back was hurting her and asked if Baby could sleep with me this night. I said "of course" and went on to bed. When Baby came to bed it seemed like any other night that she would have crawled into bed with me half asleep. She was complaining about catching the tail end of the scary movie, "The Lepracaun" and I was kind of chastising her for that because those movies always give her the creeps and she has a difficult time sleeping. She got out of bed to use the bathroom adjoining the bedroom that we were sleeping in. When she came out of the bathroom, she came around to my side of the bed and got right down in my face. I had just about dozed off to sleep when I realized that she was there. She said, "Mama, can I ask you something? What is it called when someone in your family fools with you?" I was half asleep and didn't even realize what she was asking so I replied, "What do you mean by fools with you?" She said "You know when the man puts his mouth on you down there and makes you put your mouth on him." I shot straight up in bed, demanding to know where she had heard such things. I was wide awake now. She started to stammer, "That's what Daddy makes me do to him and he does it to me." My brain couldn't comprehend what my ears were hearing. In disbelief I told her to stop saying those things and that she was lying. Blood started to drip from her nose as she began to sob. I knew then. It wasn't a put on. My chest felt as if a cinder block has been dropped on it. I couldn't breathe. The voice of reason in my head was saying "no, God, no...please don't let this be happening...no God...this can't be happening".

July 18, 2008

2008-08-24T17:06:00.000-04:00

The kids and I were so excited to be getting to come and visit my mother before school started. It was July 18 and we would have two whole weeks with her before having to return to Florida and get my classroom ready for my students. My husband didn't come because he had used up all of his vacation time for an illness that happened earlier in the summer.

The first glimpse of the Blue Ridge Mountains always takes my breathe away and this trip would be no exception. I thought about the times that we had made this trip in the last six years - nearly 20. Seeing the mountains always quickened my heart and put a longing in me for something that I could never quite put a name to.

Mom loved seeing us. She would always say "Don't forget - you have precious cargo. You drive carefully over those mountains." She always wanted to make sure that I protected my kids. I thought that I always had, but was about to find out that my baby girl had become the victim of the ultimate betrayal.